So before I reveal this article, I want to explain my vision of how I will present this article. I've decided to paste the entire article after the link and insert my own personal commentary to the situation. I don't know how it will work, and I hope everyone enjoys!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7725328.stm
More than 2,000 people waited outside an Oxford Street store in central London, in advance of a special midnight opening. (This is what I like to call "Bully Heaven")
Similar launch events are being held in North America, Taiwan, and South Korea.
The Wrath of the Lich King includes a bonus continent for high-level players, a plethora of new enemies, extra equipment, spells, and new professions. (I sure hope the creators hooked up with Tracy Jordan to add porn...it would be like killing two birds with one stone for these guys.)
The expansion also gives players the chance to take on a new type of character known as a Death Knight.
On the stroke of midnight, players - many of whom had queued for hours - got to pick up a copy of the game signed by the developers.(Ahh "stroke"...that's what I like to call foreshadowing! Please continue.)
Scott Hamshere, from Bromley, should have been the first person in the UK with a copy of the game. He had started queuing at 6am and was the first in line. However, as the barriers were lifted, it was all too much, and he collapsed from exhaustion.(This is what happens when you are not used to physical activity and have your mom change your bed pan daily.)
Instead it was 23-year-old Ben West, from Greenwich, who became the first person to own the game. Speaking to the BBC he said that it all came as a real shock.(To quote the movie "Waiting"..."WHOOO! That's like being the smartest kid with Down syndrome!")
"Up until that point it was a bit of an anti-climax in some respects. I expected to be second in line, and when I was first it was a real surprise," he said.(Chicks, ohh excuses me, elvish princesses certainly dig a gold medal in WarCraft!)
"I really feel for Scott, he was a real trooper, but in the end I think it just overwhelmed him. But we got chatting in the queue, he rang me afterwards, and we're going to meet up for a drink at some point."(I wonder if it will be Juicy-Juice or Mondo Fruit Squeezers?)
For the vast majority of people, the night was an entertaining one, with many players saying they were going to play Warcraft all night once they got back home.(Boss: The economy is failing and there will be a lot of downsizing, but please...show absolutely no interest in your career and take off tomorrow so you can play your game. Don't bother showing up on Monday, your job will be given to Janani over in India. Yeah, I totally incorporated outsourcing in this joke.)
Developed by Blizzard Entertainment and launched in 2004, World of Warcraft has grown into one of the most popular of all online games, with more than 11m registered players.(None of whom have seen a vagina...partial props to my boy Tosh)
"We've been looking forward to this launch event all year," said Blizzard's chief executive Mike Morhaime.(You may not have pick this up, but there is a pun in this quotes. "Looking forward to this launch" translates to: The biggest simaltaneous ejaculation by Nerds since the men of Lambda Lambda Lambda set up hidden cameras in the Pi Delta Pi house.)
"This is one of the few opportunities we get to meet with players in person."(This one writes itself)
| | NEW CONTENT IN LICH KING New continent of Northrend Level cap increased to 80 New high-level Death Knight character class Introduction of "Inscription" profession New enemy: The undead armies of the Lich King Introduction of siege weapons New player-vs-player battlefields |
The main focus of the expansion is the Lich King himself, Arthas Menethil, who many will recognise from Blizzard's real-time PC strategy games set in the Warcraft world. (If you say Lich King fast it sounds like "Licking" these creators must be so alone.)
Much of the content in the add-on game involves battling against the army of undead that Arthas controls.(Fuck reality...I'm fighting the army of the undead!)
Alongside the new content, Blizzard is also expected to start updating the graphics engine for WoW, making its cartoon-like imagery more realistic.(Like Tom Hanks in "Polar Express..."this is another 30 rock reference)
The new expansion pack will cost £24.99. However, it also requires a copy of the original game, the Burning Crusade expansion and a monthly subscription of £8.99.(Sorry friends, the price of your dignity is £50.99/month.)
In order to experience much of the expansion content including the Death Knight class, users need to be at a minimum of level 55 - meaning that novice and low-level players may have some work to do.(Dear author, These guys don't need anymore encouragement...couldn't you mention sunshine or babbling brooks (what did I say?) so at some point in time. Shouldn't you put a snipet of reality in this article in attempts to prove there is life outside of QWERTY?)
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