There's always room for jello...

Catchy story? nope, sorry to disappoint. I will not reference the delicious 'jigglin' treats or Sir Bill Cosby (do you agree?, Queen Elizabeth needs to get that man knighted, who is more deserving? seriously?)

Anyway, nothing exciting at the hospital today...except a patient that knew the WARF from the drug warfarin stands for Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation (insert snores...)

However, comedy is everywhere. Today, I get home, start to change when I hear a knock at the door, not thinking of who it could be, I walk over and open it....

It was a dark-haired girl, slightly shorter than me whom I've never seen.

She starts to walk in and says "Hello?"

To which I respond with a "Hello?"

After my questionable salutation, she stood confused for about 5 seconds...

After which she replies, "Oh my goodnes, this isn't my room...I'm in 404" (which is directly above my apartment, and yes Connors, a palindrome) and walks away.

I have been living here for 2 months...2 months and she gets confused now!

My philosophical statement of today:
"People just crack me...it's there reason life is so fun and entertaining!"

The Dietician

Today JR and I went on TPN (total parenteral nutrition) rounds with one of the pharmacists and the dietician (who is smoking, I may add).

Anyway, we were just chit-chatting/chat-chitting around when she asked what school we went to and where it was...

Butler University, Indianapolis, Indiana (obviously)

She got excited and stated "Oh, I have relatives from Indiana...I think they live in a town called Toffee."

JR and I look at each other and thought deeply and agreed neither of us has ever heard of it.

She then added, "Oh, maybe it's not Toffee, but its some kind of 'candy city.'"

At this point in time I think to myself, well Hershey is in Pennsylvania, and Indiana has its share of funny town names like Peru and Santa Claus, but nothing regarding candy stuck out.

After about a minute of her thinking about it she proclaimed in excitement: "It's Carmel, you know, like caramel!"

We looked at each other and laughed!

Today's post was brought to you (in the form of a post-it note) by Aggrenox(R)!

Let me also reiterate the fact that she was smoking!

Drag Races

Catchy title I know...drag races in washington dc? But isn't that a metropolitan area where property values are through the roof and the cost of a racing track would be astronomical?

Well of course you are right, but what am I talking about?

Well if you are local of DC you know, but I will assume you don't and continue typing. Well, the Tuesday before Halloween, there is a little tradition at Dupont Circle (which is a very liberal area, in an already liberal city/district/what have you). Anyway, I'm sure this is making sense, if not.........well, the gay or adventurous, put on their favorite wigs and literally race (in a minimum of 3 inch heels as I was told by my new friend Ted [a lost Baldwin brother] earlier tonight) for, well, the hell of it!

It was definitely a life altering moment for me. Words really can't explain what I saw, but I will do my best in my "buzzed" state of mind!

So, first of all it starts at 9 and when I got there at 8, it was absolutely packed.

These cross-dressers came in a variety of shapes and forms (bullet points, a tribute to tyler klaehn):

• Men who dressed it absolutely ridiculous costumes which include a ten foot replica of the washington monument and chicken suits
• Ridiculous dressed men: this includes feathers, bee-hive hairstyles
• Men dressed to impress: so there was the guy who had a 8 body guards and looked EXACTLY like Princess Diana, with the emphasis on EXACTLY
• Men who tried to look hot but failed miserably (this was the majority): this range from huge guys acting the "navy women" and a ton of shitty looking wigs
• And a small majority, men who could very well be mistaken for women (scary, I know!)

After struting their stuff for about an hour, they began the race. I believe it was about 5 blocks or so long, but the guy who won probably ran faster than I ever could (in heels!).

This is something everyone must see at least once (and there is no way you'll see this in Indiana, so its best to come to DC).
My final thought:

• Being surrounded by drag queens, I now know how "manly" it feels like to be JR in normal conditions.

Patriots defeat Diabetes?

Okay, while I was watching the Colts lose tonight (cha-ching) I came up with a series of logical sense dealing with the 2008 football season.

Hear me out: The patriots defeated the chiefs --> the chiefs defeated the broncos --> the broncos quarterback is jay cutler --> jay cutler was recently diagnosed with diabetes.

Using simple logic of a--> b --> c --> d --> e, it is determined the patriots defeat diabetes!

I just don't know why doctors haven't thought of this sooner...it's just so simple!

PS: I haven't heard anyone say it, so I want to be the first:

The Titans are going 16-0 this season! I'll say it again to further emphasize my statement:
The Titans are going 16-0 this season!

Hopefully no one outside of Nashville has said this so I can be a "Good Five Minutes" guest on PTI...golly, I sure hope Tony Kornheiser is nice in person!

So at my hospital, I have this real spacy/crazy preceptor and this was a comment she made at approximately 7AM this morning while JR and I were waiting to begin 'rounds.'

(Talking to a nurse who is due to have a baby soon) "You know babies have a lot of nipple confusion, you know being able to differentiate between the bottle and and the breast...(then pointing to us) but at this age you really don't have to worry about it!"

Yes, this really happened!

I would like to thank Aranesp(R) (darbepoetin alfa) for making sticky notes which made this blog entry possible!

Singing

I was walking home from Farragut after working on some projects when I heard some music at Dupont Circle, so I stop and have a listen. It's a black guy dressed in full cowboy gear. I figure to give him a listen when a familiar tune began..."Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel.

I was really tempted to get up there and sing along, but I didn't think the cowboy would like it too much. You may ask, why would you even consider going up there to sing...

This is my reply:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Dg5dbobY1o

(please do not drink or eat when watching this video)

On a related note, the cowboy sang Jethro Tull's "Locomotive Breath" and Rolling Stone's "Wild Horses"...I was truly impressed!

it's been a month...holy shit!

anyway, so i was on my way to adams morgan to hang out with aubrey. I get to the suicide bridge and what should i see...a homeless (probably deranged) person walking out to the middle of the road flipping off on coming traffic. This continued for no less than 90 seconds! But don't worry as cars started coming she moved off toward the curb but never to she relinquish her 'bird.' And for that I applaud her (i'm assuming she was a she) for believing in something and sticking to it!



on my way home more excitement occured! aubrey was scared i was going to get shot on the way home but i would be fine, i'm a big strong dude and there's a lot of cops out so its safe. I get to a corner and two men in the twenties start yelling and getting their fisticuffs ready for battle (you may assume their race, and although i don't consider myself to be rascist, i feel you may assume correctly). Well this blocks traffics for about 5 minutes as I just stand there about 30 feet from the altercation. I finally leave and during my reflection of the situation on the way home i think to myself...wow, i was probably in range to be hit with a stray bullet if this fight esclated further. if that happened it would hurt me twice: first from the literal pain of a bullet piercing my flesh and two because aubrey would have told me so!...

i'm too tired to go back and make sure what I wrote makes sense or it grammatically correct...so please don't judge me on that!

good night and good beer!