&

Dear &,

Poor, poor &. The most misunderstood symbol in our English language. Most people probably don’t even know how to say your real name. They probably just call you “that ‘and’ sign.” But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten it, my dear friend, &. It’s like when a person comes up to you that you’ve known for sometime, but all you get is a ‘hey dude’ or what’s up, man.’ I feel just as nameless as you sometimes, &.

Although it is disheartening, my pity is still for you, &. Because, my name isn’t displayed on marquees, restaurants, or billboards in a state of connection. It also isn’t a simple ‘shift-7’ or a symbol given free of charge to the contestants on Wheel of Fortune.

Why can’t you have integrated into our English alphabet and become your own letter, &? I mean, somehow ‘y’ did it in the Spanish language. You both share career goals, and basically have the same calling in life, &.

I hate to tell you this, &, but I see your fate, because it parallels another symbol of recent times. It is the symbol that Prince used as his name for some time. It completely took over who he was and his name may have been forgotten, leaving the only the symbol to remain, &. The difference is, even with the symbol, his name was still remembered as ‘The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.’ But you don’t have that going for you right now, do you &? Because to so many people, you are still just that “and-sign.”

&, I feel your best bet to be known for what you are, to salvage any recognition is to put on some make-up, hire a fancy stylist, and learn to play some killer riffs on the guitar. Then and only then, can you go by “The Symbol Formerly Known as Ampersand.”

And when you do, I will sign up for your fan mailing list.

Sincerely,
Scott Vouri